Tuesday, May 8, 2018

The Worst Villains to Battle our Favorite Action Stars

I know everyone has been asking, "when is the next Going Off Topic piece coming out?" Well your in luck people today is that day and this piece is going to be followed by a few more! Everyone loves a good action movie and the actors who play in them so it got me thinking, who are some of their best villains? So I did a lot of research, I looked at 14 of the biggest action movie stars and every movie they starred in to get the ultimate list of villains and adversaries they have battled. It took a lot of time but the first piece is finally ready to go! Let's get to it and enjoy all of these awesome movies.

Jason Statham
     Honorable Mentions:
       1. Ghosts of Mars- Starring alongside Ice Cube, they battle miners who have been taken over by ghosts and have to destroy a nuclear reactor to vaporize all the ghosts.
       2. War- Statham must take down a mysterious assassin known as Rogue (played by Jet Li) Statham and Jet Li, what a combo.
       3. The Meg- This is not even out yet but I cannot wait to see it, our boy battles a 70 foot prehistoric shark. This could easily jump into the top 3 once it is out.

     Top Villains:
       1. Crank 1 and 2
           Villain: Verona and his own damn heart.
If you haven't seen these movies, turn off your computer run to your nearest video store or whatever is close and get them immediately. I guarantee a few hours of fun. In Crank, Statham plays a British hitman named Chev Chelios (great damn name) who becomes poisoned. What does this poison do you ask? It requires Chev to keep his adrenaline flowing and his heart rate elevated, well knowing Jason Statham this isn't a problem. He kicks some serious ass and takes a lot of drugs to keep his ticker going while tracking down Verona, the man who poisoned him. Having this poison and being able to inject an enemy is serious shit in my book. In Crank 2, Chelios battles a Chinese mobster Johnny Vang and a new heart. Vang stole his old heart and replaced it with a battery operated one, basically like a car battery. If he does not continuously charge the battery then the heart will stop, ultimately killing our boy. Completely outrageous? Oh, yes. Absolutely awesome? You bet your ass it is.

     2. Revolver
         Villain: Macha (Ray Liotta) and a rare disease that causes death in 3 days.
Every Jason Statham movie is guaranteed to be bad ass and involve a ton of action, Revolver is no different. Statham plays Jake Green who gets involved with Macha (Liotta) in a casino and it spirals out of control. This leads to Green being imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit. When Green gets out of prison he goes to one of Macha's casinos and wins a bunch of money. Because of this Macha puts a hit out on Green. As the movie progresses, Green finds out he has a rare disease that will cause him to die in 3 days (tough luck man...). So he is battling this disease while dealing with hitmen from Macha coming after him. Macha is a cold ass dude and you will have to check this one out to see how the story ends.

     3. Safe
        Villain: Triads, Russian Mob, and corrupt NYC cops
That is one hell of a list of people to go up against in one movie. Our guy plays Luke Wright, an ex-cop and former cage fighter (not sure why this is important but it's awesome) who winds up protecting a gifted child from the Russian Mafia, the Triads, and corrupt NYC cops. I don't think I have to tell you why this one makes the list, he goes up against a variety of bad asses. It has everything: fights on a subway, a lot of gunfire, and a genius 12 year old girl. If that is not your kind of movie then, respectfully, you're a fool.

Bruce Willis
      Honorable Mentions:
       1. Die Hard With a Vengeance- Bruce reprises his role as John McClane and battles against Hans Gruber's brother, Simon. Simon uses bomb threats to terrorize NYC until McClane steps in. Villainy runs in the Gruber family I suppose.
       2. 12 Monkeys- Talk about one hell of a plot. The time is 2035 and BW is playing James Cole. In 1996, a deadly virus is is released that almost wipes out all of humanity. Cole is sent back in time to stop the 12 Monkeys from releasing the virus and in turn saving the species.
       3. Once Upon a Time in Venice- You never mess with a man's dog but apparently Spyder and his gang didn't get the memo in this one. Spyder steals Bruce's dog and all hell breaks loose across LA as he hunts down the gang and tries to get his dog back.

     Top Villains:
       1. Die Hard
          Villain: Hans Gruber
Easily one of the best action movies ever while also being a great Christmas classic, that's something you can't say too often. I will give you a little breakdown but if you have not seen this movie, shame one you. Bruce plays John McClane, an NYPD detective visiting his estranged wife and kids in LA. It's Christmas time and he meets his wife at her place of work, Nakatomi tower, for the company Christmas party. During the party, Hans Gruber and his gang of thugs take over the tower with dastardly plans in mind. Hans is a smart and cunning villain that tests every ounce of John McClane's will and that is why he finds himself on this list. Hans is arguably the greatest villain of all time. (R.I.P. Alan Rickman)

       2. Last Man Standing
          Villain: Italian and Irish mobs
Set in 1932 Texas, BW plays a wanderer by the name of John Smith (very creative, I know) who finds his way into the town of Jericho. While pulling into town he notices a pretty woman crossing the street and this is where Smith encounters trouble. Smith comes across Finn and some other Irish mobsters who destroy his car. Smith is recruited by the Italian gang in town as they plan to eliminate the Irish mob, one thing leads to another and Smith finds himself playing the gangs against each other and winding up in a mess of bullets and fists. The two gang leaders, Fredo Strozzi and Doyle, are some devious guys you would not want to encounter. A lot of killing and kidnapping lead to John Smith battling both gangs.

       3. Armageddon
           Villain: Asteroid and extinction
Another classic movie from big Bruce, he takes on the role of Harry Stamper who is considered the best deep sea oil driller in the world. He is recruited by NASA to blow up an asteroid that will hit Earth in 18 days and will cause a second extinction event, pretty serious right? So NASAs plan is to land two specialized space shuttles on this asteroid and detonate a thermonuclear bomb to blow the asteroid in half so it zooms past Earth. Good luck Harry. I don't know about you but extinction is nothing something I want to think about and if this asteroid is going to cause it, that is a serious force to be reckoned with.


The Rock
      Honorable Mentions:
       1. Wrestling Career- Dwayne had one hell of a wrestling career and battled some all time great wrestlers; The Undertaker, Big Show, Triple H, Booker T, and most famously Stone Cold Steve Austin.
       2. Rampage- This looked to be one of the worst movies of all time but he still had to fight some pretty intense animal mutations alongside his own genetically mutated albino gorilla.
       3. G.I. Joe Retaliation- I haven't seen this movie but it looks to be another horrible movie starring our guy. He does battle against the evil organization, Cobra, who have taken over the free world by impersonating the President and framing the Joe's as the enemy.

     Top Villains:
       1. Scorpion King
           Villain: Memnon and Cassandra
Our guy does battle with Memnon who becomes King because he is their greatest warrior, but turns out he is a ruthless guy and not a great leader. Memnon has an evil sorceress who is the source of his success as a warrior as she can look to the future and predict the outcomes of his battles. Seems a little unfair, right? The Rock plays Mathayus who is hired by King Pheron to kill Memnon's sorcerer for twenty blood rubies, I wish I knew how much twenty blood rubies transferred to but it has to be a good amount if you trying to kill a sorceress. Memnon kills Mathayus half-brother among some other pretty bad shit and proves to be a worthy adversary for Mathayus.

       2. Doom
          Villain: Genetically Enhanced Humans/Aliens
Loosely based on the classic video game series, the Rock plays a marine who battles some serious human/alien evolution hybrids. His group of marines are sent to a lab where they find ancient skeletons of a genetically enhanced humanoid race, which is problem number one. Eventually they stumble upon an unknown creature in a lab, they are able to kill the creature and examine it. While examining the creature they discover it has human organs (problem number two), the team ends up discovering the lab was experimenting on humans using the Martian Chromosome (wait, what?????). These creatures are scary, killing machines, and they absolutely belong on this list.

       3. San Andreas
           Villain: Giant Earthquake and Tsunami... Mother Nature
Easily one of the best movies The Rock has ever done. He is an LA Fire Department Air Rescue pilot (Ray) who battles probably the biggest earthquake in history. Now the crazy thing is, this has a chance of happening, maybe not a good chance but that San Andreas Fault is nothing to miss with. Anyway, Ray goes toe to toe with this giant earthquake which leads to a giant tsunami in order to save his wife and daughter. There isn't a body count for this earthquake and tsunami but according to Google there are more then 800,000 people who live in San Fran and, by the looks of the catastrophe, I am assuming most of them died in this movie. But our boy Ray battled against it and if you haven't seen this movie turn on any TV and there is a good chance it will be on. It's horrible... but it's so great.

There you have it people the first action stars blog is complete but don't worry there are plenty of pieces to come! We still have 11 more actors to cover and that means a lot more awesome and bad ass movies to look at. Let me know what you think and make sure to share it with your friends and family!

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