Friday, September 15, 2017

He's the Hero?!? Dennis Quaid

What’s up guys, it’s Duggs back again to ask who comes to your mind when I mention ‘men who have saved the world’ or those who have been our ‘hero’?  I mean, when you think of someone who saves the world you think of cool, badass, slick, most likely good looking, a nice vocal tone, and don’t forget about the great hair.  In my first piece I covered Keanu Reeves, which probably isn’t the most creative choice on my part since we all agreed last time that he is, at minimum, one of the top 10 coolest people of all time.  This week I dug a little deeper.  I went a little further into my bag of tricks. 
This week we aren’t looking at an all around action star.  We aren’t looking at a necessarily cool or slick guy, even though I’d like to think he is.  I will say, however, he is pretty damn good looking and has a solid voice that has me thinking he would definitely be a super effective over-the-phone salesman.  That’s right, I’m talking about the one and only, Dennis Quaid.  Wait, you’re talking about the dragon dude from the 90’s classic Dragonheart?  Yes.  So you’re talking about the awesomely lovable dad from one of everyone’s all time favs, The Parent Trap?  Yep.  Okay hold on, you’re telling me the stud captain from one of the best sports movies ever made, Any Given Sunday, has saved the world?   Sure did, multiple times.  Even the reverend from the new Footloose remake?  Oh okay, let’s not go that far.  Throughout history some people have mentioned him as a B-List celebrity or a subpar actor.  To those people I say…. fight me.  Look through this man’s IMDB page and tell me with a straight face there aren’t legit classics on there.  Here’s the deal, I know that when you think of world savers Denny doesn’t come anywhere close to your list.  That is what I’m here for.  Sit back and let me show you why we all owe the Quaidster some serious thanks.  By the way you are going to be seeing me refer to Dennis as Denny quite a bit throughout this piece because, frankly, I just think it is cooler than Dennis.  Alright, on to the world saves!

Dreamscape.  1984.
Dennis’ first acting credit according to IMDB is in 1977.  If that is true that means it only took him 7 years to potentially save the world.  Not bad Denster.  In this one our boy Denny is a young psychic who becomes the first person to enter another person’s dreams without any medical aid.  I know what you’re thinking, Inception might be a knock off after all.  Anyway, this ability really comes in clutch when he saves the President from being assassinated.  See, the thing is the dude that is dream hunting the President knows about his continuing nightmare of a world destroying nuclear war.   Also, it just so happens that some world nuclear disarming talks are in the works, so it’s safe to say this dude wants the Presi out in case it’s time to show some nuclear muscle.  Dennis doesn’t want the world to go up in flames.  He doesn’t want any radiation or whatever crazy things come with atomic bombs.  He wants a peaceful world where he can continue to use his powers to gamble successfully.  That’s for sure what I would do.  Overall, not the most impressive save I’ve seen, but has to be up there for the sole fact he is doing all the saving mentally.  Think of all the things you would do if you could manipulate people and situations through other’s dreams.  How many of those deal with saving the Presi because you are a conscious and good willed person?  Exactly.  Now, there are other possibilities where a nuclear war wouldn’t break out if the Presi died, so I think we have to take that into account here.  Besides that, thanks to his good will and his sick mind powers we are still here to see another day.  Thanks dude.  I’m going to call this the “Pre-ception save”.  6.5/10

Where do we go from here you might ask.  We are going to take a huge jump into the future all the way to 2004.  By this point our boy Denny is around 49-50ish (born in 1954).  That math is correct, right?  I hate math.  Before that I’d like to throw out an honorable mention.

Frequency. 2000
This movie is more of a world changer, but on a much smaller more personal scale.  The thing is, it could have easily been on a world scale so I’m throwing it in.  The story gets pretty wild into time travel/changing of events, but I won’t get into all of the deets.  Just know that Denny is in 1969 working with his son who is living in 1999 through an old AM radio to help solve a serial murder case and eventually keep Denny alive.  AM radios always get the cool stuff, sorry FM.  So they end up solving the murder case and with it change some events in history.  One being old Denny surviving and magically appearing in 1999 to chill with his son.  Great story.  The problem is this story only focuses on their family.  I’m thinking more of the ripple in the pond effect for this one.  I don’t think I can sit around and expect Denny to survive 30 more years without anything else in history changing.  Who says by solving the case they didn’t set off some crazy chain of events that will alter the future for all of mankind?  Nothing else was changed?  Really?  I call bullshit.  The point I’m getting at is this movie shows that if things got a little crazy Denny has proved his family had a solution to go back in time and fix it.  That would come in clutch if our future as a species was in jeopardy.  It is a stretch I know, but just think about it.  That is why it is an honorable mention.  Even though Denny’s son ruins the World Series final game for him in this one, I enjoyed this one and suggest you check it out.  The storyline might have you making some stank faces, but who cares it’s time travel.  Alright, enough with the ‘what if’ and ‘maybe this maybe that’ hogwash.  On with the saving!

Just four years after our honorable mention and Dennis Quaid is back saving the world. This time he is a super smart paleoclimatologist (a dude or dudette who looks at past climates to study present and possible future ones…I think).  Personally, this is one of my favorite ‘end of world’ movies and I would definitely suggest checking this out if you haven’t already.  What is happening here?   Basically, Denny realizes that global warming will bring a new ice age upon us but no one really takes him for real, especially the higher ups, including the Vice President.  Some crazy weather prompts him to run some tests and he realizes this ice age, which he thought might come within the next few hundred years, is coming now!  How is this a world save?  We are talking about mother nature here, something you can’t stop.  Just hear me out.  After realizing this he is put in direct contact with the President who starts listening to Denny’s recommendations, like evacuating everyone south.  The movie plot takes on his journey to Manhattan to save his son, but we have to look at the bigger picture here. 
He knew this thing was coming eventually.  When it did he jumped on it and figured out what was going to happen.  Also, we can’t forget that he was providing strategies and plans to save as many humans as possible directly to the Presi, who then was relaying that to the rest of the world.  The movie ends with the human race surviving by migrating south and we see a world view of the northern half of earth frozen over.  Now, I don’t remember if this is directly mentioned in the film, but I feel like after being rescued Denny will have to meet up with the V.P. and begin work on the future to make sure we are all aware the next time something like this is coming.  I mean, he was the first guy to bring this up and even presented it directly to the President.  No one respected what he was saying, so the fact that it all came true has to mean he will be the lead on this kind of thing moving into the future, right?  Even if he is not, the fact that he knew what was happening and told the President what to do to save the human race counts as a world save in my book.  It’s hard to beat mother nature so I’m giving this one a 7/10.  Let’s call this one the ‘I’m So Icey’ Save.

Bear with me on this one.  You know those movies where halfway through you realize that what you are watching is so far beyond awful that there is not even a half legit reason for you to continue watching? Even while your entire body is telling you to stop, you keep watching for some unexplainable reason and then end up forgetting everything that just happened for the past hour and a half as soon as the final credits hit?  No?  Don’t lie.  Well, if you are truly lucky enough to have never had this happen to you then this is the perfect movie to check out if you’re wondering what those feelings are like.  What about those movies where you’re on a date but the movie is so bad that you both agree that the $30 either one, or both, of you just invested isn’t worth another single minute of screen time?  What about those movies that are so damn terrible that your own family and friends won’t watch them with you…except for your one weird friend with just as bad of a taste as you who is always like “Yea I’m down to watch that, sounds like it could be a classic.”  Shout out to my buddy Chubbs.  Fine, I’ll admit it; I love terrible movies, but seriously though, don’t watch this one.  It is the definition of a walk-out. I still regret watching it to this day. 
Anyway, I know what you are thinking.  Our hero Dennis Quaid is in this movie?  Yes!  Well, barely.  I actually can’t remember more than 3 scenes with him.  I don’t have the best memory, but I’m willing to bet a decent amount of money that his over/under line of words spoken would be at 25.  That is like 2.5 sentences.  He is General Hawk, who is the leader and overseer of the G.I. Joe squad, and that is the sole reason he is getting this save credit.  I am basing this save off of the previous work he had to have put in to get to this position.  Basically, the G.I. Joe squad saves the world from the evil group Cobra (possibly the lamest bad guy squad name of all time) who has plans of using new nanotechnology-based warheads to take over and destroy the world.  The whole group puts in effort in this one even though it is really just a whole lot of Channing Tatum and not a whole lot of our boy Denny, but since he is the group leader he has to get some credit.  The funny part of this movie is the ending where we see that one of Cobra’s main strategies actually does happen.  So while Denny helped save the world this time it looks like his job won’t be over with just yet.  Actually, just joking because he doesn’t end up making the cut for the sequel and is replaced with Bruce Willis.  Ouch.  Since Denny literally doesn’t do a thing that I can remember in this movie I’m giving this a 1/10.  The 1 represents all of the previous work we never see that he had to have put in to get to this leader position.  Let’s call this the ‘Seriously, Don’t Waste Your Time’ Save.

Legion.  2010.
Wow, after that last shit bomb of a save there has to be something good coming up, right?  You are God damn right it is!!!!  Pun intended.  Legion, the final and most impressive save by Dennis to date.  The basic plot of this one is that God loses faith in humanity and sends down his legion of angels to wipe us out as a whole.  The problem with that is in order to do that you have to run though fucking Dennis Quaid.  Even holed up in his beat down gas station in the middle of the desert Denny doesn’t make it easy for God to start the Apocalypse.  Now, he does have some help from the Angel Michael who turns his back on God’s plan to help out the humans. Don’t get it twisted though, Denny holds up his end because he is focused on everyone who is trapped in this gas station and their survival, including his son Jeep (which is a pretty dope name – shout out to the writers) and the baby that will eventually carry on our species as humans.  Lot of pressure on that kid.  Side note…I have a personal theory that Michael changes his mind to help the humans once he hangs out with Denny for like 10 minutes.  I just picture him saying something like “Damn dude, I thought humans sucked but like…. wanna hang out later?”  Cool Duggs you liked the movie, how is it a save? 
Well, you see, the key to the future of the human race is the baby who has been stuck and protected by Denny this whole time in the gas station.  Eventually, they have to leave and take the baby to safety, which is when our boy Denny blows up the gas station killing himself in an attempt to take down the angel Gabriel (who was being a real dick the whole movie).  I realize that at the very end it is Michael who comes down and kills Gabriel, which ultimately saves the baby, but he had to be resurrected by God.  Denny busted his ass for at least an hour doing all kinds of crazy things to save this baby, and eventually gave up his life for it and all of the human race.  I’d say that is one hell of a save.  Think about knowing that the future of humans is in jeopardy and you kill yourself just to try and take out the main guy trying to take us down.  That’s not impressive?  I realize he didn’t actually kill that guy, but he is an angel.  Come on, give Denny a break.  Any other scenario that person/thing is toasted.  Angels are super hard to kill, for some reason, in every story that has ever been told.  I’ve never understood that, but in this case it almost happened by a regular dude who fixed cars in the desert for a living.  That regular dude from the desert played a key role in the fact that we are all here today.  Also, thanks to Denny his son gets to live on as the main baby protector and can hopefully re-start that great automobile company he was most likely named after.  As I’ve noted before, I don’t really get into the whole religious thing, but this is the biggest scale of saving one can get to.  It literally doesn’t get bigger than this.  God Damn I’m impressed, Denny.  I’m giving this one a 10/10 and I’m calling it the ‘Save The Baby’ save.
                  
So what do you think?  When it comes down to it these are not your usual saves.  Denny starts off by using only his mind, which when I think about that it just ends up giving me a headache.  Then he moves on to beating Mother Nature, which I think we all can agree is pretty impressive.  From there he leads a top-notch operative military team to save the world.  Not necessarily impressive, but still respectable that he is leading the team and calling the shots.  Lastly, he really beefs up his resume with playing a vital role in possibly one of the biggest world saves ever made.  The point here is how many people are going to add Dennis Quaid to their list of world savers?  Do me a favor and ask the person next to you right now which actors they would think to have the most world saves.  I bet none of them mention Denny.  Hopefully today I’ve made a decent case for him to be brought up next time.  There are a lot of world savers out there, but not all of them live in the limelight.  So Dennis Quaid is my hero!?  You bet your ass he is.  Thanks Denny.



Shout out to Foshe and the FYE Blog for having us on, but don’t forget to check out the best podcast out there, Anything But Credible and stay tuned each Monday for a new episode.  Have thoughts on this should-be-award-winning piece or literally anything else?  Let us know at anythingbutcredible@gmail.com  Or you can hit us up here:
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We have discussed doing more series like this one with some bad ass female actors and male actors who have saved the world but these would be people you would expect; people like Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, Will Smith, etc. So if there is something you want to see us breakdown give us a shout on Facebook or Twitter!

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